Wednesday, February 26, 2014

This Whole Baby Business

Is it just me, or is there an absurd amount of people announcing pregnancies? Not that I think it's a trend or something. It really makes me mad when people talk about everyone they know getting married or having babies and say that it must be the "cool" thing to do or they don't want to follow the trend. It's not a trend. It's something that people have been doing since the beginning of time. We are just at the point in life now that people reaching these milestones is the norm.

Anyway, that was quite a tangent. All of these pregnancies are making me want a baby. I love all the cute prego bellies and cute baby stuff. I see precious newborns and glowing parents. Getting married and having children has been my dream since I was little.  I wanted to be a young mom and have lots of kids. I had plenty of other dreams as well, like being a famous interior designer like Genevieve Gorder from Trading Spaces.

When this jealousy hits and I want a baby that minute, I back up and remind myself why we aren't having kids yet. And honestly, it comes down to one main thing. We are selfish. We want a few more selfish years. We want to travel and see the world whenever we want. We want to pursue our careers. We want to be able to sit down at night after work and have dinner and watch TV together. We want to have date nights whenever we want. We want to be able to hang out with friends or go on adventures at the drop of a dime. Yes, I know you can do these things with a  baby. But we want to the freedom and flexibility for a bit longer.

I am also selfish because I love where our relationship is at. Our relationship hasn't always been perfect, but we have worked hard to get it to where it is. We have learned to apologize, to forgive, to appreciate, to listen, to communicate, and right now, things are great. We have struck a balance that works for us, and I am scared to mess it up.

Honestly, I'm not just scared of disturbing our balance. I am scared of everything that having a baby entails. I am scared of having trouble conceiving. I am scared of being pregnant and some of the problems that it can bring I am scared of all of the medical problems that could possibly arise. I am scared of being responsible for such a precious gift. I am scared to bring a child into this scary world. I am scared of not being a good parent.

Someday, I know these fears will somewhat subside and our selfish years will be over. Someday we will be ready to start a family. I can't wait to have children and all the wonderful things that come with it. But until then, I am going to enjoy this stage of life. And enjoy our time with our current family of three.









20 comments:

  1. I am right there with you. Even though it seems like all our friends are having babies we are enjoying this time for ourselves and aren't ready to give it up!

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  2. Your post describes me perfectly. I get so jealous when I hear other girls are pregnant and then I realize I don't want to have a baby right now, why am I jealous? I also worry all the time about getting pregnant, being pregnant, then having the baby. I think that's all normal though. Yes continue to be selfish for now because the time will come when we won't even care what we look like when we leave the house because we've gotta take care of a baby!

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  3. Do what's right for you. I had my first son at 33 and my second at 37. We had done lots of travelling and fine dining and felt we had done what we wanted and were more ready to be parents. This is pretty standard in the uk.

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  4. Perfect post!!! And I think you are doing the right thing!! Live it up, do all the things (or some of them) you want to do. And have fun being husband and wife, kids throw you for a loop, in the best way possible but you can never really go back! We started having babies so young that we do sometimes wish she traveled more, or I was able to go to grad school right away instead of holding off. So I think you guys are smart!

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  5. I'm with you on the getting jealous part. Instead, though, I have a lot of people telling me I should "take a year or two", but I don't want to wait. Haha!

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  6. I'm feeling exactly the same as you are! Thanks for posting this today! It can be tough to see other people doing or getting something that you want, whether its the right time or not. Enjoy your freedom and time with just the two of you!!

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  7. This is so perfectly written, and because you are so aware of all of these things, I have no doubt you will be an amazing parent!

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  8. We are selfish too, and people seem so taken aback when I confess that I am still too selfish to be a mother. I think we are at a similar point to you guys, and it's nice to know that and have another blogger who is just happily married, in the military, with a pet ;) Oh and, Kadena is looking pretty likely!

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  9. Having our babies was the best thing that ever happened to us!! We wouldn't trade them for the world. However, BE SELFISH!!!! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with loving where your relationship is at and being selfish with your time together now. When the time comes for a baby to join the family, you'll know. You'll just know. And those things that scare you now may still scare you then, but you'll be ready to take them head on and show them who's boss. :)

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  10. Me, too! To all of it, haha. I can't wait until it's our turn to have kids, but at the same time, I'm just not there yet! I've also got a little anxiety going on about it too though, because I thought for sure that 25 would be the perfect age for kids, and here I am at 28 already! A lot of the girls that I grew up with are already on kid #2, so I feel way behind the curve. :)

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  11. I feel like that too! Between blog world and my real life friends, I feel like everyone is pregnant. However, I am in the "better them than me" category because I don't want kids at all.

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  12. You said this so well. This is exactly why my husband and I don't want to even start thinking about kids for at least a couple more years! I like quoting Katy Perry sometimes when people ask me if we've thought about having babies: "Babies can't have babies, and I'm still a baby."

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  13. ha 2014 is totally gonna be a baby boom!

    new follower of your cute blog!!
    joanna-dan.blogspot.com

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  14. Oh, I think about that all the time--not that I'm married or on that path yet--but I think of all the things I want to do, to have my career, to travel, to do things as a single person that you don't have the ease to do when you're in a relationship or having kids. Neither is a bad thing. But I am aware at the same time that a lot of those desires stem from being selfish. It's good that we're so honest with ourselves though, and that we can see our desires and their nature for what they are, in the good and the bad. Not everyone allows themselves to be so brutally honest.

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  15. I know we talked about this back before we got married and you and I both said we were anxious for babies and being young parents but I am feeling the same way. Now that we are both approaching our 2nd anniversary I think those two years flew by and I can wait because right now I'm ok with being selfish. I like the ease and fun of not having kids right now and I know in a couple years I'll be a little less selfish and ready to take the leap... but for now I'll be jealous of the pregnant bellies while I remind myself I'm not ready

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